Remember the Basics

Posted on May 23, 2013 by Wayne Green

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This is a really personal blog and I want to share it with you as a statement of my need to change.

In the last few days I have had a serious event happen which left my marriage and relationship in tatters. It was something that could be worked through. Nothing like infidelity or anything like that. It was to do with being clingy and controlling.

I suffer depression. Staying at home and dealing with it everyday effects me greatly but it wasn’t till the events of the last couple of days that I realised how serious it was. I really had no idea how my actions affected my wife.

My wife and I are completely open and share everything so to have this revelation hit me at this time was not only very frightening but also made me hit rock bottom. I honestly had lost all will. I knew I could change and I made a start at that by finally speaking to a professional about my problems.

My wife knows how much I am scared of doctors but I would give up everything just to be happy with her and my children.

Sometimes, through times of utter turmoil and pain, good things can arise. All our problems were aired and I really do believe we are closer than ever. Like we used to be. She has told me she is much happier and to be perfectly honest with you I am happier in myself too.

Don’t let life become a mundane day-to-day drudge. You have people around you that love you. Sharing the happiness and love is what a relationship is all about.I guess I forgot that.  The fact we are so honest with each other is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life.  I love my wife more than anything in the world and the thought that we will be together for the rest of our lives, happy, is all the comfort I will ever need. This is the kick up the ass I needed.

During this time just hearing from an old friend bought me back to reality. I realised I was not alone and there were people who cared. I was going to make a difference.!!!!!

Obviously this is a very personal blog. For this reason I haven’t linked it to my Facebook. This is for my readers. I hope it can be motivating in a time of need should any of you go through a relationship crisis. This is why I have not blogged for a couple of days. Talk, compromise and do what you need to do to get things back on track. You will only ever have one true love. Mine is with my wife Shareen and all of my kids.

To my wife. I am sorry. I will be the person you fell in love with. I love you babe. I may not be perfect but being in your arms is.

Categories: Family, My Blog, Relationships | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

Broken Webcams

Posted on May 19, 2013 by Wayne Green

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If you have been wondering why I have not done any video blogs lately it is because my web cam has died. Yes, it had a funeral and everything. The thing was being held together with sellotape anyways.

I promise, as soon as I have a spare £100, to buy a new one and start that up again.

In the meantime you will have to put up with the written word :D

Hope your all keeping well out there in blogging land.

Categories: My Blog | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Fascination with the 80′s

Posted on May 18, 2013 by Wayne Green

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I really don’t know what is a matter with me at the moment. I have a real longing to be living back in the 80′s.

I have been asking around about what decade has been the best for an individual. I would love feedback on this but it seems the childhood years of 8-16 hold the most cherished memories for everyone.

For my wife it was the 90′s-00′s. Her influences were different from mine. It’s amazing to see how well pop culture and childhood memories mix. Perhaps this is why the 80′s is my comfort zone.

Perhaps it’s a money thing. Let me explain.

I really can’t remember any stresses of life up until working age. Sure, the stresses of exams and growing up were very real but it was a short-lived stress. Since working age, earning an income, life has a way of dealing you issues that are long term. No wonder we all long to be kids again.

Categories: Inspiration, Memories, My Blog | Tags: | 1 Comment

You think it sucks but most folk don’t. Deal with it…

Posted on May 17, 2013 by Wayne Green

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After watching “A Good Day To Die Hard” last night I thought I would do a blog about movies which suck. I mean the Die Hard franchise should have ended at Number 3. My question is.”Do actors know they are starring in a crap film while it’s in production”?

They must do.

This film is on par with one of the worst movies I have ever seen. At least I got through the crap that is “Blade Runner”. I turned off the latest Die Hard installment after an hour.

Speaking of Blade Runner. I thought I was the only one in the universe that thought this sucked royally. Then I did a google search on “Why does Blade Runner Suck”. Guess what. Loads of blogs about it.

I thought I would compile a list of movies which seem to have a following but I think suck, bigger then a gigantic Dyson vacuum cleaner caught in a tornado.

  • 2001 – A Space Odyssey
  • The entire Chris Nolan Batman franchise
  • Full Metal Jacket (First half was cool)
  • Actually any Stanley Kubrick film excluding a Clockwork Orange. (Yes, I thought The Shining sucked too)
  • Alien, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection
  • Blade Runner
  • A Good Day to Die Hard
  • Top Gun
  • The Complete Series of “Lost”
  • The Complete Series of “Dollhouse”
  • Captain America (Ohhh this one is going to be controversial)
  • Pretty much any Oliver Stone film too excluding JFK. Yes, Platoon was the biggest pile of crap I have ever seen
  • Apocalypse Now
  • Anything by Stephen Spielberg that followed and included Saving Private Ryan excluding “The Terminal” and “Catch me if you Can.”
  • Any remake of an original film.

There that should be controversial enough to start a debate :D

Categories: Films, My Blog | 3 Comments

The Chicken Machine of Death

Posted on May 16, 2013 by Wayne Green

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Do you remember these things?

You put your money in. The chicken makes a noise and an egg is dispensed from the bottom. On opening the egg you either get a small toy or some candy.

This thing is the most dangerous thing I have (up to now) ever come face to face with. Let me explain.

I was 7 years old. Holidaying in Caister on Sea, Norfolk. I was not allowed in the adults bar as I was far too young so stayed with my brother in the newly furnished kids room.

It was lovely. TV on the wall, new carpets, sofa, pool table and a chicken machine in the corner.

Well, I was fascinated with this thing. Every time the machine clucked I ran over to see what was making it do it. Okay, prepare yourself if you don’t like horror.

On one particular cluck I thought I could get to the machine before it finished clucking. I ran as fast as I could but lost my footing. I hit the corner of the machine with my head. Full impact!!!

I immediately put my hand to my head and told everyone I was okay. It made an almighty bang so everyone had turned around and was looking at me. I repeatedly told my brother I was okay. I had a dull throbbing on my forehead but other than that I was fine.

On removing my hand though all hell broke loose. Blood sprayed everywhere. On the carpets, on the walls, down my coat. I was in a right state.

I really don’t remember much more. All I can tell you is that I woke up in a strangers arms and my brother had run into the bar to get my parents. I was rushed to the hospital and had, wait for it, 1 stitch. It’s amazing how much the head bleeds.

So if you’re wondering where that scar comes from on my forehead. Now you know :D

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Categories: Family, Memories, My Blog, Parenting | Tags: , | 2 Comments

Gutted for Caernarfon

Posted on May 15, 2013 by Wayne Green

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I don’t know if it’s because I am suffering with some mystery illness at the moment but I really gutted for the events that have happened over the last week.

I missed a good friends wedding, all the plans I had made a year ago ended in sadness and all the sights and experiences I had looked forward too for so long ended with heartache.

I cannot begin describe how gutted I am at missing my friend’s wedding and having a weekend away with the wife. Something I haven’t done for a good many years. I hoped the pictures and texts from my wife would have made up for it but alas it doesn’t. I so wish I could have been there. I was in tears at not being able to go. :(

At least I have a piece of mind knowing that the event was spectacular, the scenery amazing and the happy couple looked to have really enjoyed their day.

I will certainly make sure I am never put in that situation again. Letting people down is something that will haunt me for a very long time :(

Categories: Friends, Memories, My Blog | 1 Comment

Wayne vs The Ants

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Wayne Green

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While I’ve been blogging about some shocking things that happened to me in my childhood let’s get down to the creme de la creme and tell you about an experience I had when I was living in Australia.

I must have been about 4 or 5. Yes, I still remember this little event like it was yesterday.

I went over the local park which was opposite my house with my brother and his friend. Not sure what we were doing over there but all I remember is that they decided to climb a tree.

Me, being only a small child, could not even reach a branch so decided to sit at the bottom of the tree and wait for them to come down.

The next bit is going to sound like a horror story to some of you.

I noticed a few ants crawling up my legs. I was wearing shorts and I promptly brushed them off. I can’t remember if they were biting but I do remember they were big and red. As I brushed them off I noticed some on my arms. I brushed them off too and then realised I had more on my legs. A lot more. In fact I was shortly about to be covered from head to toe. I had sat in a nest.

As I stood up I couldn’t see my clothing anymore through the wriggling red mist of ants. They were everywhere and they were going up my nose, in my ears…..everywhere!

I remember screaming and running home. They were entering my mouth. My mum stripped me off in the street and threw me in the shower. The last memory I had of this event was watching a river of dead ants washing their way down the plug hole.

It’s amazing how times of absolute horror stick with you. That is one of my only memories of Australia. Sleep well :D

Categories: Adventure, Family, Memories, My Blog | Tags: , | 5 Comments

Scarlet Fever Will Kill You

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Wayne Green

teacherOkay, here’s a funny story for you. Funny now but not funny at the time.

Way back in my second year of High School (ohhh I must have been about 12) I got Scarlet Fever. It was your run of the mill childhood illness and the good part of it was that I got to spend 2 weeks off school.

Sitting at home, living the good life, was excellent. I had the TV to myself, watched what I pleased and generally had a pleasant time.

Two week later I returned to school. No one had really missed me. That was until I got into my metalwork class. Before the class begins every teacher will take the register to see who is here and who is absent.

I’m sure I would have been missed and asked about my absence, so the teacher started to read the names from the register. Being in alphabetical order I was waiting for my name so I could shout “I’m back”.

My name was never read out though. Where I expected to be called I was just skipped. After he had finished reading the register I proceeded to ask the teacher why I was missed.

“Sir, you missed my name”

“Wayne, oh”, he said as he fumbled through the register.

“Erm, he looked up at me, I was told you were dead!”

“WHAT!”, I said.

Apparently my beloved classmates had informed my teacher that I had passed and he promptly crossed my name from the register. Not once did they question it, not once did they phone my folks wishing condolences, I didn’t even get any teachers going to my imaginary funeral. What the hell was that all about.

We all have stories from our youth but that one will stick with me for ages.

And for all my old classmates. You’re a bag of bastards :D

 

Categories: Comedy, Family, Friends, Memories, My Blog, Parenting | 2 Comments

A New Bike

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Wayne Green

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I know this blog is about me but I thought I would share a pic of what my son bought with his money he got from his birthday.

It’s a special bike because it would be the first NEW one he has ever owned.

Peeling the plastic off of it and knowing he is the first one to have ever ridden it has captivated him.

So much so, since opening it, he has long gone.

Hope he is enjoying it as much as I did when I was a kid. Looks like BMX bikes a making a comeback :D

Categories: Family, My Blog, Parenting | Leave a comment

Missing Her

Posted on May 11, 2013 by Wayne Green

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Here a soppy post coming up. Apologies on that.

Well the wife comes home today. As I write this she is 100 miles away from me and counting. If I have learnt anything from this little experience it is as follows :

  • I can look after the kids and stay sane at the same time.
  • I can not operate properly when I am left on my own
  • I miss my wife more than anything in the world
  • Food budget goes through the roof when I am left to my own devices.
  • Kids tend to be spoilt more

The only mishap on my time, “home alone”, is that my daughter decided she was a budding artist and drew me a picture.

It is a perfect example of a “Banksy”. Yes, she drew on my wall.

How do I explain that to the wife!!!!!

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Categories: Family, My Blog, Parenting | 2 Comments